Thursday, May 18, 2017

Time Travel - Alice in the Aftermath

  • Synchronicities 
  • Branching Moment
  • Desynchronous Time-holes

As you recede from the robust branching moment you enter into a period of desynchronicity where the frequency of synchronicities decrease and/or their nature changes.  In my earlier thinking I referred to the ''surprise'' phenomena of this period as time-holes (sudden blasts from the past) and a feature of Venutian work as opposed to syncs which I saw primarily as a feature of Mercurial work.

After my Alice synchronicity and subsequent branching moment (cinematic debut) a number of individuals got back in touch with me - an ex-girlfriend, a ex-director and my primary school teacher in one quick wave over the course of a few hours.  These events were not connected to the branching moment - coincidental meetings at pubs in local towns, trips that had been planned ages ago that were ending up in Prague.    There is some commonality between the physiognomy of the three of them - they all have heavily lidded/hooded eyes.

If the physiognomy of ''Alice'' (adrenaline/testosterone) gave some indication as to ''where'' the branching moment was happening in the Metabolism of Time (remembering/altered past) and its nature (therefore clues to advantageous action in that moment), does the physiognomy/symbolism of the time-holes post branching moment give any indication of where the line leads to next i.e. if I had chosen a different action at the branching moment would I have been confronted by a different set of ''ghosts''?

In a very esoteric reading of the Partzufim there are said to be 11 faces with 11 backsides (corresponding to the 22 letters astrological forces) - are the faces of these ghosts the back-side of the Alice face - which by an extention of the previous logic would be the physiognomy of ''forgetting'' (which does fit the nature in this case)?  In which case I would imagine the utility is decreased as they are simply the reverse side of the event I am moving away from.  However, since the future causes the past as much as the past causing the future and the two things are entangled, from a 4D perspective the backsides could be as useful but I would have to see them/everything in a different/non-linear way.

Some musings.

Monday, May 15, 2017

The Green Lion

This Oil of the Sun, enclosed in a retort hermetically sealed, you must place for elevation that it may be exalted and doubled in its degree. Then put the vessel, still closely shut, in a cool place. Thus it will not be dissolved, but coagulated. Place it again for elevation and coagulation, and repeat this three times. Thus will be produced the Tincture of the Sun, perfect in its degree. Keep this in its own place.

The Treasure of Treasures, Paracelsus the Great
The Green Lion devouring the Sun is an alchemical symbol representing what is probably the effect of sulphuric acid acquired from green iron sulphate salts dissolving gold, yielding a gold solution that can be used for plating or perhaps ingesting.  Sol is also a symbol for consciousness (the Ruach) and from the point of view of spiritual or psychological alchemy the Green Lion could be said to be the phase in which this part of the being is ''dissolved'' to allow access to the higher self (the Neschamah) - i.e. super cellular consciousness.  From another perspective Vincent Bridges discusses the importance of meteoric glass such as the green stone moldavite in the work of Renaissance alchemists.  He suggests that Bohemia is littered and infused with this prima materia which greatly contributes to the area's mystical appeal.  Although the chemical composition of moldavite is mainly aluminium oxide and silicon oxide there are other substances such as beryllium and iridium bound up in there which could be ingested were the moldavite to be dissolved, or ground to a fine powder.

As many of my good friends know I have been playing around curing myself and others with alchemical quackery for many years.  I regularly ingest colloidal silver and this combined with Vit D. supplements and allicin pills provides an extremely effective defence against infection - i.e. garlic, silver and (the biological form of) sunlight slay the undead.  I have always been curious about the effects of ingesting gold but have yet to try it. However, I have been using a moldavite rejuvenation (anti-time) amulet which I enchanted myself in the Tower through the use of the Time Phone - and this does seem to be a potent crystal to work with.

There is no doubt that humans are generally deficient in minerals and very few seem to address this as one of the causes of their medical problems.  My own life has been improved by simply taking magnesium let alone the anti-demon combo outlined above.  The soil has been over farmed and fertilizers do not replace all the trace minerals that used to reside there, food therefore no longer contains sufficient quantities of what you need.  I believe that for maximum efficacy the human being may need substances we wouldn't normally think we do - i.e. gold.  Gold is being used in all kinds of innovative ways at the moment in electronics, catalysts and medicine - who is to say our nervous, immune and a variety of different enzyme systems couldn't benefit?  One of the possible reasons behind the disappearing gold in the world may be that someone who knows better is eating it all...

As I explained the other day I have been working to transform/upgrade my temple-library to Tudorian splendour for better time travel resonance.  I went to purchase a writing desk and as I entered the antique bazaar the first thing to greet me was this Green Lion.  I purchased him, without haggling, have named him Paracelsus and am taking this materialized symbol (so fresh off the astral he was dripping Azoth) as a cue to do some things a) advance my knowledge of various forms of alchemy b) transfer this knowledge to the work I have been doing on (super) cellular consciousness and time travel and c) eat gold.  I am charging him at the moment and I have to say he is very responsive - I might even attempt to conjure the Ruach of Paracelsus into him - after all, why not? My partner, with zero knowledge of alchemy, arranged the books around him without any involvement from me (if I had been involved he would have been the centre of a cluster of magic books) and I noticed that she placed a gold book with 1666 as the title on one side and a book called The Goldfinch on the other.

Rectify until you find the true, clear Green Lion, which you will recognise by its great weight. You will see that it is heavy and large. This is the Tincture, transparent gold. You will see marvellous signs of this Green Lion, such as could be bought by no treasures of the Roman Leo. Happy he who has learnt how to find it and use it for a tincture!

The Treasure of Treasures, Paracelsus the Great

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Time Travel - Alice in Superposition

As I was discussing previously the Alice synchronicities I experienced the other day would have indicated a significant Alice event in the near future and this event, like all robust branching moments, would be significant enough to enable one to change track between the Fourteen Minotaurs.  So lo and behold my cinematic debut was this week in a scene that I had quite forgotten filming towards the end of the new movie Unlocked with Noomi Rapace, Orlando Bloom, John Malkovich and Michael Douglas.  I have been in a few tv shows and am the principle antagonist in a hotly anticipated video game but I had not made it to the big screen thus far. I have about 15 seconds screen time and my line is, appropriately, Alice this is for you.

If the future does not already exist and magic, as it is commonly understood, is genuine then I will have been using Alice symbols throughout my life in order to influence probability and induce Alice-related events like the above - to steer me onto a hand-crafted beneficent Alice track out of all the infinite possibilities that the future holds.  If the future does already exist then these Alice symbols are already ahead of me and behind me in my block time line and are temporally entangled forming a kind of Super Alice.  Cellular Consciousness, as it is, has practical applications whether looking at reality from a 3D matter based perspective or a 5D mind based perspective and although I understood how to run and return between these states I was aware that what I was running through was 4D. Through a series of experiments while living at Edward Kelley's Tower and through complementary esoteric work afterwards I have been groping my way towards an understanding of time travel and temporal entanglement leading to a comprehension of Super Cellular Consciousness and hopefully not insanity and death.

Often when we confront the notion of the future from a Presentist perspective (that only the present exists) we get the idea that there are infinite possible universes branching off every moment and although this feels liberating its actually fairly delusional and aggrandising.  Who can collapse a reality into a different branch with their decisions?  Humans?  Cats?  Lower life forms?  Microbes?  Are all the bacteria, fungus and parasites residing in human bodies all collapsing different reality tunnels with their decisions?  That seems ludicrous and, after reflection, so does my own capacity for making decisions in the first place.

Raziel suggests that only those universes where time travel is invented cohere and this reduces infinity, mostly hyper-dead, to an unspeakably huge but still finite number of surviving coherent realisable universes. Using a kind of anthropic principle you and your future(s) exist in one of these timelines and that instead of an infinite choice in the opportunity of any given moment you only really have two, accept or decline. Most of these decisions aggregrate into you following the same path so it doesn't matter if in a series of moments you say yes yes yes or no no no you are still heading towards the end of a linear predetermined experience.  Only at certain moments can you truly branch off into one of your alternate selves, these alternate selves also existing in timelines that culminate in time travel, the invention of time travel being defined as the death of language .

I started thinking about my genuine freedom in any given conversation and how likely I am to deviate from my lines and I realised that it was extremely unlikely.  Bearing in mind my established character and social conventions it is rare that I will stray too far from the path because often the consequences of doing so at an inopportune moment are very brutal - divorce, being sacked, getting arrested or killed, etc.  Lets say my boss wants me to do something and whether I am compliant or I resist I probably still have to do the thing in the end regardless.  Some introverts, over-represented in our community compared to the general population, really weigh everything they say because they think these individual yes and nos stockpile over time but the truth is that most people, including your boss, forget the details of the transactions within a few days and the only thing that lasts is whether the thing was done or not.  The fact that the introvert weighs everything is simply built into their established character and therefore their pre-existing script.


I just want to put a note in here, for myself more than anyone else, that the de-synchronous effects outlined in this post did happen yesterday - some days after the robust branching moment of Alice in Superposition.  The de-synchronous always has something of the time ghost to it and this time it was an ex-girlfriend and an ex-primary school teacher getting in touch with me.  

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Time Travel - Alice and Other Creatures of the Labyrinth

'Twas brillig and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe
Alice through the Looking Glass; Lewis Carroll
Life is a series of pathways between rooms.  You can deviate from the path for a while but very soon you'll have to find a room, be it a bivouac, or a mere cliffhanging.  If you don't you'll die of exposure.  On any path you may have a series of decisions to make but whatever you decide the path will still lead to the room.  Our decisions aggregate towards the same ending - reaching the room. Rooms can be empty or there can be a guardian being. The guardian beings of the room can be your friends, partners, colleagues, bosses, enemies and are arranged in a spectrum of types emerging from the ten steps necessary in order to analyse a single moment.  When a being of a certain type is in your room a certain response will be elicited.  A simple example is being in a room with someone who is very aggressive because of high levels of testosterone - they will typically stimulate your own aggression (be it towards each other or in mutual enjoyment, watch packs of these people) or your flight response. The person has acted as a chemical messenger on the confines of your own cell of consciousness, just the like the underlying hormone they represent and how you interact with the beings on the path and in the room determine the reality of your life.

Alice in Wonderland is very important to myself and my partner.  Not only did I form a close relationship with the text and movie interpretations growing up but during my early Qabalistic studies I was in an Alice themed Kabbalah study group where I was the Mad Hatter and then went on to play Lewis Carroll in a performance in Prague.  This play was an original work featuring Lewis confronted by the real Alice Liddell as a young girl and then as an elderly woman contrasting the reality with the fantasy conceptual Alice. The other night I went to see ''Aspects of Alice'' at a blacklight theatre and this particular show featured our heroine flying over a mystical Prague and was filtered through the lense of Milan Kundera - wistful, fatalistic carnival music with erotic twists - ''The Unbearable Lightness of Wonderland''.   Our tickets were free and provided by a friend of my partners who brought someone else with her who was a physiognomical copy of the actress who played Alice in the production where I played Carroll.   When I returned home from the theatre there was a message from this actress telling me she had watched Humanity: Good Ending and thought of me.

This event returned me to a line of thought that began to crystallize during the filming of The Aftermath - a director there had been a physiognomical copy of my first esoteric mentor and, coincidentally, I recieved a message from him in my trailer - we hadn't communicated in many years. The knowledge I had allowed me to work well with the director and I was rewarded with another day, another scene and a battlefield promotion from a nameless officer to a named character - Captain Harris.  The physiogomy of the Metabolism of Time is of immense predictive value in dealing with individuals on a day to day basis - the system providing insights into their various moods, etc and how they will interact with other people of different types.  The thinking behind this use is based in presentism, i.e. my individual interactions through every moment create possibilities for me in the future - my decisions matter and I can take advantage of opportunities.  However if the future already exists, as Raziel suggests and no matter what I think I choose to do I am trapped on a path until a robust branching moment comes along how does this knowledge remain useful?  What is the Eternalist version?  How are these physiognomical predictions useful to the would be time traveller, someone who wants to see their life experience in 4d rather than 3d?

Although Raziel has been clear about there being no grand free will, no infinity of parallel universes branching off every moment and how decisions on the path largely aggregate taking you to the same destination - a significant event at a robust branching moments (vertices, rooms) - there remains the freedom to switch timelines between the finite variant selves or Fourteen Minotaurs at these moments.  At these moments there is a decision that has a significant consequence - so it is only here where the tricks are useful. Synchronicities, like the above encounter with my director amd mentor, or the plural Alice, are like sonar pings as you approach a significant event. For example, our motto for the Gentlemen for Jupiter was ''When Kingdoms Come'' and then, after quite some work, I ended up playing a lead role in the upcoming video game Kingdom Come: Deliverance - a solid ping suggesting a robust branching moment.  We should also be aware that as we leave significant events these synchroncities will decrease in frequency.

Forward, backward, inward, outward
Come and join the chase!
Nothing could be drier
Than a jolly caucus-race

Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

What seems to being suggested by the above experiences are a) that guardian beings of the same type are temporally entangled with each other in your timeline(s) and b) that the type of guardian being reveals the underlying nature of the significant event.  To make this clearer lets look at the first example in this post - the director and the mentor were both of the Treefrog type, which is a thyroidal nature, in this case hyperthyroidal.  Features include short height, prominent slightly bulging eyes, rapid metabolism, they plunge into new environments to stimulate personal evolution, and have a strong interest in aesthetics - mainly visual arts, etc etc. Is there only one Treefrog that is in super position throughout my time line(s)?  Is there a way of gauging the frequency of the appearance of significant Treefrogs?  This Treefrog became a stimulus which my cell had to respond to and one set of reactions would have sent me down one path and another set down another - bearing in mind there are only two possible outcomes at a vertex, junction or room - yes or no/oops!  In saying yes to the Treefrog I went down a path which resulted in the extra day and in saying no or being awkward I would have been denied that.  Who knows what difference being a named character will make in my future?

Who the fuck is Alice?  Well Alice signifies many things for many people but ultimately she is on a quest for identity in a meaningless nonsensical world - Carroll could be considered the first Absurdist.  The Alices are generally a mix of adrenaline and testosterone types, which also governs the nature of their rooms, creating a huntress physiques who like to challenge boundaries (curiousity) with pre-egoic identities driven by urges and instincts.  Being at the Alice show with a clone of the actress who played Alice then recieving a message from that same actress clearly shows contact with the Alice in superposition.  If they are synch pings foreshadowing the significant event one can expect it with to take place with an Alice as the guardian and to be in some kind of Wonderland...

Do you live in the memory of a significant Alice seeing their face projected on to new friends, lovers, enemies who are like them in all but name?  Do you seek the near-clone of someone you knew, or was that Alice foreshadowing that other Alice to come?  Or are they all in super-position?

When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead
And the white knight is talking backwards
And the red queen's off with her head
Remember what the dormouse said
Feed your head, feed your head

White Rabbit, Jefferson Airplane

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Astral Projection - Failure and Analyses II

Many magicians seem to have a problem with describing magickal experiences, admitting they are wrong and discussing their failures. Magical experience is incredibly difficult to describe let alone analyse, but without description, analysis, evaluation and comparison its impossible to make headway or gain perspective.  Its the reason why so many so-called magicians come across as all bluster and vagueness; they are not cultivating shadowy mystique they just have no idea what is going on either and often get things wrong.  We learn from mistakes and if no one is discussing them learning is truncated.

I made a pledge for 2017 to attempt astral projection more regularly and make my explorations a little more systematic.  I have done less of this work than I wanted but have been making efforts and mistakes.  Like in my last post about this I want to address some of these failures and see what I can do to improve my experiments moving forward.  Springing off my previous post on failure, these failures all come under the general heading of the effect of astral weather and the celestial bodies themselves on the astral journey experience and on the final destination.

Mercury Retrograde - During one attempt last week, I did not get past the astral larvae, which are normally not a problem.  I was very aware of them, focused on them and rather than trying to push past, or dispel/disrupt I instead confronted them.  I am not sure why I did this but it was my choice.  I asked, quite calmly - What are you? What do you want from me?  Why are you trying to stop me getting on the astral plane?  The writhing mass of (painted) light worms/tentacles collected together into what could have been a face that kind of stopped and looked back at me - dumbfounded at a) having been asked b) because there was no answer or c) these responses are an automatic reflex (of the mind or spirits) to any astral attempts.  As I understand the astral larvae phenomena is a function of your own mind in the very lower astral, that prevents you from escaping the gravity well of your ego - part of a similar set of internal defences that stop you messing around with your breathing, sweating or peristalsis.  I was reminded of the scene in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy where Ford confronts the Vogon Guard with existential questions about his purpose before they get kicked out of the airlock anyway.  Confronting the larvae in this way I stopped my projection attempt and returned to my body for a few moments, before sleep paralysis kicked in.  At this point my partner saw that I was speaking in tongues/mesmerised/paralysed and woke me up.  About 5 minutes after this (approx 2.30am) somebody started repetitively buzzing my apartment from the street outside and my partner was quite frightened by this because I had already freaked her out.  The area where I live is really cool but kind of mad and answering the door at this time of night is not a good idea.  Whatever it was went away but then came back about 15 mins later and did the same thing.  Its difficult to get an angle to see but basically looking in a reflection across the street I saw that it was a black shadow that was pushing the door bell that then suddenly vanished.  I checked after and it was none of my friends. I talked to my partner about the kind of physical/earthly resistance/distractions/phenomena you can receive when trying to project out of the atmosphere - weather effects, kinetic activity in the room, children/animals suddenly screaming, etc.  The important note here is in terms of astral weather - it was Mercury retro and the disruption involved use of the buzzer/phone.  The previous evening the phone had been broken and making a solid buzzing sound all night that had disturbed my sleep and these two experiences seem connected by Mercury.  My question from this would be - is this standard disruption/resistance from spirit or mind, an independent retro effect, or a combination of the two?  I assume its a combination of the two and therefore could tentatively conclude that the type of disruption one can expect will be affected by astral weather.    This sounds right but it highlights the way an important failure can confirm suspicions and enhance praxis.

Destination - As I have discussed before this year I am trying to be more systematic in terms of my destination and want to focus on planets.  My prior attempt to go to Venus ended in failure as I approached it and got the fear.  In several attempts over the last month or so I have been torn between Jupiter and Sol.  I keep trying to get to Jupiter (again) and I keep getting pulled into Sol.  The light is extremely intense, possibly dangerous and it was not my intended destination so I break off the mission as I approach.  I am not quite sure about how to get around this hurdle.  I don't think its an effect of physical gravity on my astral form persay which would end up necessitating the use of some kind of astral slingshot to get to Jupiterand I also hesitate to say that I am being pulled there for a reason.  I think that it might be to do with a lack of conviction i.e. I don't want to go to Jupiter enough or can't focus my will clearly enough.  Alongside this as I get past the larval stage and the cool, trippy, tessellating stage to a point where I can actually see through ''gates'' I keep getting tempted to go and look at things and people ''on Earth'', i.e. explore Earth instead of space, become an inward facing earthbound satellite as opposed to a planetary probe.  I am pretty sure that this desire is another attempt by my ego to keep me down here.

Some conclusions then? Alongside these experiments I have also been cultivating my relationship and dialogue with Raziel.  The most vivid, life-changing astral experiences I have had have been with the assistance of this entity and I think Raziel has his own schedule of explorations set up and I should just let it guide/drive and relinquish control.  This does not come easily to me as a scientist but it seems that maybe that will have to be the case.  It is not that I don't trust the entity, its just that without some kind of system/location it will make the examination of my results more difficult and more daunting. After all during the last time I ended up in this random point in deep space,  the absolute middle of nowhere although there was something there not a place but ''the ship''.  But why was the ship there???  Was it going somewhere else and Raziel just intercepted it?  More questions!

As you increase the radius of your sphere of knowledge all you do is increase your surface contact area with the ocean of ignorance.

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Books, Books, Books - and Book XIII

Books Books Books.  I am in the process of upgrading the library temple suite - Indonesian lanterns; Walnut bookcases; antique desk, barrel and chest.  Going to pick me up a Thoth statue too.  Its going to look gorgeous fam.  Having removed the IKEA bookcases I had, the entire floor is just covered in heaps of books - many of them ex library books.  I pick up the Texts of Taoism and randomly open up a bit of Chuang Tzu to take to the bathroom and what am I offered?

What the world thinks the most valuable exhibition of the Tâo is to be found in books. But books are only a collection of words. Words have what is valuable in them;-- what is valuable in words is the ideas they convey. But those ideas are a sequence of something else;-- and what that something else is cannot be conveyed by words. When the world, because of the value which it attaches to words, commits them to books, that for which it so values them may not deserve to be valued;-- because that which it values is not what is really valuable. Thus it is that what we look at and can see is (only) the outward form and colour, and what we listen to and can hear is (only) names and sounds. Alas! that men of the world should think that form and colour, name and sound, should be sufficient to give them the real nature of the Tâo. The form and colour, the name and sound, are certainly not sufficient to convey its real nature; and so it is that 'the wise do not speak and those who do speak are not wise.' How should the world know that real nature?

Chuang Tzu, Book XIII, Part 10

He's right you know.  I question the value of the books lying scattered around me.  It seems to me the theory here is Tao then Ideas then Words then Books (highly similar to the KBL and cell biology/genetics) but the Tao is beyond our comprehension so we cannot name the ultimate source of ideas. Is Tao consciousness?  I don't know, that seems to be going a bit far although ideas are noetic and the implication is they originate in Tao.  We can't define consciousness either.  Dennett thinks its an illusion but I think Chuang thinks Dennett is an illusion.  Tao is the ultimate indescribable nature of reality.  Thinking of only indirectly contacting this reality through my senses I realise its some kind of science day as well and all my liberal progressive friends are in a science veneration trance on social media.  I am reminded of Parmenides ''On Nature'' where he suggests science is at best informed opinion.  Hmmm.  He continues:

Duke Hwan, seated above in his hall, was (once) reading a book, and the wheelwright Phien was making a wheel below it. Laying aside his hammer and chisel, Phien went up the steps, and said, 'I venture to ask your Grace what words you are reading?' The duke said, 'The words of the sages.' 'Are those sages alive?' Phien continued. 'They are dead,' was the reply. 'Then,' said the other, 'what you, my Ruler, are reading are only the dregs and sediments of those old men.' The duke said, 'How should you, a wheelwright, have anything to say about the book which I am reading? If you can explain yourself, very well; if you cannot, you shall, die!' The wheelwright said, 'Your servant will look at the thing from the point of view of his own art. In making a wheel, if I proceed gently, that is pleasant enough, but the workmanship is not strong; if I proceed violently, that is toilsome and the joinings do not fit. If the movements of my hand are neither (too) gentle nor (too) violent, the idea in my mind is realised. But I cannot tell (how to do this) by word of mouth; there is a knack in it. I cannot teach the knack to my son, nor can my son learn it from me. Thus it is that I am in my seventieth year, and am (still) making wheels in my old age. But these ancients, and what it was not possible for them to convey, are dead and gone:-- so then what you, my Ruler, are reading is but their dregs and sediments!'

Chuang Tzu, Book XIII, Part 11

I like this Wheelwright - books are just bits of corpses and bibliophilia is, in essence, no different to necrophilia.  I look around my blasted temple and see nothing but a catacomb, the leaves of various texts like bits of rotting flesh.  I am decorating my new library temple with their mummified remains. It certainly puts the grim back in grimoires. Thanks Chuang for peeing on my parade.


So it all comes down to ''the knack'' and the relative speed of the hand motions?  What is this knack, our wheelwright is talking about?  Well as I understand it Taoism is all about letting things take their natural course.  Knowledge at its heart is a natural understanding and must be applied.  Talent, a gift for understanding, which is at the heart of all knowledge is inherent, genetic, natural.  In venerating books and authors we're in danger of missing the wood for the trees, of losing our own knack - unless, paradoxically, that happens to be for writing.  An anti-intellectual corrective, Tao style. Although the book pile right now looks like it could easily be set ablaze, Chuang, I think I'll keep them intact, they look nice - and sediment eventually becomes stone.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Time Travel - A.P.E.X. and the War of the Twins

So we were wondering what to watch the other night, trying to decide between It and Day of the Dead when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, I had a flashback to a film I had watched when I was younger and which had confused the hell out of me.  I could only remember the name A.P.E.X. and that it was vaguely about time travel paradoxes and killer robots.  I found it online and I suggested we watch just half an hour because I remember the plot being both confusing and bad - we eventually ended up watching the whole thing.  The reason I am posting this though is that after we had finished watching it my partner noticed that the events of the film take place on April 3rd and it was April 3rd. I was surprised at just how much is stored in the memory, how subtle the triggers can be, and how often our magickal work is about exercising this vast potential, and through memory to time itself.


Does the movie A.P.E.X. itself matter?  Was my angel attempting to draw my attention to something? Well the themes of the film do fall within the realm of what Raziel has been exploring with me.  A.P.E.X. stands for Advanced Prototype Exploration units, robots that were designed to go through portals for the purpose of exploring a new physics of time travel.  If things went wrong then a sterilization unit would be sent to contain any paradoxical timelines by annhilating the people involved in causing them.  An experiment goes wrong and an alternate timeline is birthed on April 3rd 1973 which robots are then sent to sterilize.  This degenerates into these robots being continuously sent from the original timeline which now exists only as that moment and the Earth descending into a Terminator like war for survival with humanity against these machines.  Our protagonist falling through the portal from the original timeline then has to go to the timelab in the paradoxical timeline and try and connect the two 2073s together.  Suffice to say this film does not produce a brilliant treatment of the paradoxes of time travel.

However, Raziel's apocalyptic vision of the end of the world via time traveller swarm does have resonance with the movie as does the appearance of the time travellers themselves and the time of their arrival. I have discussed several times how the insectoid nature of the appearance of certain beings may in fact be time travelling suits of some form.  In my experience, and from dialogue with Raziel, although they have carapaces like the A.P.E.X. units they also have wings, complex eyes and are entirely iridescent.  In the movie, the robots, appearing one after another, systematically lay waste to the Earth with explosive weaponry, but in Raziel's description, the end of humanity comes about due to the wholesale madness induced by suddenly being engulfed in the host of trillions of time travellers - this event coinciding with the death of language.  As my good friend Paul has pointed out this also resonates with the first few chapters of the Book of Enoch.


I have also been rereading the War of the Twins, the 2nd triology from Weis and Hickman, another work which features time travel as the dominant theme.  In this the magic spell that is used to send the twins back in time can only be used for research purposes and no changes can be made in the timeline unless a dwarf, gnome or ''kender'' is sent.  Since these creatures are considered ''mistakes'' of the Gods, they can cause paradoxes.  Raziel would agree with the first point and has detailed as much but would disagree with the second - as the account of the Angel of Secrets is paradox free.

This wasn't in the histories.  Perhaps this means that time has already been altered?  No.  The pitiful sacrifice of these poor creatures was left out not because it did not happen.  It was left out simply because... no one cared.

Raistlin Majere, The War of the Twins, Weis and Hickman

Reflecting on the role of memory one could see how these seed ideas could be used, by Raziel or myself, to bear fruit in this later part of my life.  I found A.P.E.X. confusing when I watched it many many years ago because I had no vocabulary at that point for exploring these issues, just like The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera had such a dramatic impact on me because I had never asked the questions asked in that book - at least not in this life.

One of the reasons why the Tree of Life, explored and rectified, is such an effective tool for the magus is that it allows one not only to tap into one's own reserves of memory in this life and before, but that it provides lightning reflexes when it comes to referencing that memory.  A deeply religious Kabbalistic friend of mine once objected to this notion of the Tree of Life as ''tech'' for psychic boosting and I took his point to heart - the Tree cannot be untangled from religious aspects and in attempting that you are robbing yourself of an incredibly rich part of the experience.  However, this aside, work with Kabbalah and the Tree of Life does improve the working of the mind and leads directly to the development of psychic or prophetic powers.  Although our minds seemingly remember everything that ever happened, these memories are mercifully filtered so we aren't incapacitated by grief, by regret and by nostalgia.  When we work with the memory and increase our sensitivity to stimuli we are also working with the selectivity of it, the judgement to know if you really need that memory right now, that it has utility, that it won't bog you down.  We work with the filter as much as the fluid and its filtrate.*  

I like to think, like many of us do, of the strong influences on my mind and its workings - the corpus of the WMT, Hermetica, Kabbalah, literature, the Great Works, etc - as I favour a strong hypothesis of myself but I often forget or rather do not select ''lesser'' memories like A.P.E.X. or the War of the Twins.  Just because something is eminently forgettable doesn't mean we should forget it. I maintained and still maintain a very militant, unsentimental attitude towards my memory and in 2001, I  destroyed memories through the use of a conjuration of Chronos. This seems like a savage, brutal act but at that point I believed that certain memories I had were encumbering me. I chose an appropriate astrological time and took symbols of the memories (photos, etc) and then ritually destroyed them under the stars - the direct effects of the removal of these blockages were rediscovering a lost soul and the channelling of the text the Metabolism of Time.  But in this act, what difference was there between myself and an APEX robot destroying an aberrant timeline?

*Luna - fluid, Mercury and Venus - filters of remembering and forgetting, Sol - filtrate.